Tuesday, 20 February 2018

The Nightmare of Us

We were a fairytale doomed with an unhappy ending.
You were prince Harming and I was a queen with no crown.
We were more the enemy than the twosome that lives happily ever after.
We were the fairytale that looked wrong,
But felt right.
The book of us collected dust
for no one would admit
love was no fairytale.
Love looked like rusty, broken crowns,
dusty hearts, more frowns.
A fairytale set in a metropolitan town,
a love that couldn’t look up without falling down.
We were no fairytale indeed.
No fancy ballrooms, no royal steed,
no fairy Godmother to look after our needs.
No. We changed the game.
We showed the world that ‘fairytale’ was just a name.
We created stories of dungeons and dragons,
and princes with no fame.
Now little kids needn’t be fooled into thinking
love’s about waiting for a kiss
or hoping for the perfect man.
Love, now, is imperfect, and difficult
and often a nightmare.
But it does make better stories
than the ones we previously knew.
I hope someday, some little one,
is inspired by the nightmare of me and you. 

Wednesday, 14 February 2018

Dream maker, heart breaker.

He was white light
with blemishes across his face.
Glowed in the dark sky
but left no trace of himself for the morn.
He was beauty that showed up once every fifteen days
to unsettle me, to teach me that love is giving, love is light.
Love is flawed, but oh so right.
Love is constant but hides.
Love shows up in all different sizes,
phases and levels of glows.
Love always knows. 
Love learns from the light of another
And reflects more shine than ever.
Love has its moments of needing to stay away now and then
And I’ll probably never find out why
But love will always remain
somewhere, thinking of me in a calm night sky.


The moon has her phases.
One night she’s hardly there,
The next she’s more,
And more and more,
until one night she’s everything,
And she’s sharing,
She’s open and expressive,
And loud and unfiltered.
The moon has her phases,
And I can’t help but listen to her silent whisper on some nights,
And her loud moans on others.
And if I have to wait every fortnight
To witness her, new and whole,
Then so be it.
I long for a celestial soul.
And each night as she expands,
Reveals more and more,
I will absorb her light,
Be more a friend than foe.
And even though she orders the tides,
She is weak some days
and some days the strength of the night.
Her uncertainty keeps me on my toes.
Her white light, bringing calm to my woes.
I probably cannot have her, can’t ever make her mine,
So I’ll stand by watching, admiring her rule over the night.
Dear moon, dear love,
Though you're afar, I think I'll be just fine.

Wednesday, 25 October 2017

25th October- A Comeback

There comes a time where you just stop looking back at your past. At every mistake you made thinking it was the right choice, the right lead, the right moment, the right person. Wrong. It was all wrong and you hold it against yourself stronger than you ever would anything else.

But all of that one day comes to an end. You pause and realise that none of it is worth it. That excruciating pain in your neck from looking around at what’s long behind you, what belongs behind you, all wrong behind you. You find a cure in just looking straight ahead, far ahead and you think:  "fuck that".

That’s when the universe will rush into your world and hit you with something hard enough to let you fall right back into the day, into the current moment, the present.
And you’ll thank it. Even though your head feels sore, and you’re heart even more.
You’ll thank it even though painful was the fall, and safe landing- none at all.
You’ll thank it because you’ll know, this moment is screaming "go",
and then on, no more will you stand- one foot out the door.

Step out, step on, step ahead
There’s only a world of opportunities waiting beyond your depressing bed.
Get out of your head,
quit calculating every move and find your groove in things you enjoy.
Find a girl, find a boy, hell! Go find a toy.
Just never employ intoxicants to time travel you back to yesterday.

Yesterday is poisonous,
tomorrow is ecstasy,
to hell with what’s over and done,
design your own destiny.

Tuesday, 20 June 2017


We floated out into the waves
and when we reached a place we knew we were safe,
we surrendered.
And I saw it, the moment time stood still,
I saw it the moment your heart filled,
in the waters I felt the weight of your soul
and all the love that never grew old,
and you stared up into a purple evening sky,
never once losing faith in the waters holding you up,
carrying you nigh.
Your gaze, fixed on a single star, your hand holding mine so I wouldn't go far,
in that moment I felt the currents, ghosts of touches against our skin.
Tonight was about worshiping the stars,
tonight was more about lying there, than a swim.
Lying there with not a fear for the world and it's whims,
Hymns of praise and melodic tunes have reached the skies and kissed the moon.
Yet, here we are hoping to be reunited soon,
with the friends we've made and the souls that fade.

We waded out to the shore
When the tides got stronger than the tears we wore.
Hearts sore, souls exhausted,
the moment was short, but enchanting while it lasted.

Another soul on the way home
Another life, on the sands of heaven, will roam.

With our feet in the sand and palms safe in each others hands
We said a prayer of thanksgiving
For the dead and the living.

Time doesn't stand still anymore.
Neither do our feet on that very same shore.
You alone could freeze time for us all,
You alone were a big difference in a world so small.
The waves don't hit us as often as your kind heart did,
The horizon doesn't glow as pretty as your smile.
Time will stay moving and hearts will keep loving,
But we'll swim towards that moment everyday of our while,
Hoping that the current will send your voice in a wave,
And for a moment, just a tiny moment we will be reminded of the joy you gave.
You left a mark, you touched souls.
Your memory, your love, your strength bold
We won't let it drown, we won't let it fade,
we won't let your story die, and mostly go untold.

Monday, 12 June 2017


Let me confess
I'm not as perfect as you think I am
I'm not supernatural and I'm not someone who's all forgiving and all understanding.
Believe it or not I have a heart very similar to your own
A heart that races, hurts, rages and even gives up
I'm only human.
So on nights when I'm laying in my bed questioning why the stars align a certain way they do and why they still can't ever let me have you
I'm left thinking about the way you used to whisper Always
Like it was your favourite word
The only word you would put all your faith in
I'm left thinking about a one worded promise
And how if we kept it
I wouldn't be laying here thinking about you
I'd be talking to you and listening even more
But life's not ideal
And my hearts more real than you and I could ever believe
And if you called me your lover
Why then do my insecurities awaken and hover
Around my head
In my head
Under my bed
Demons hidden within me
They tell me you never cared to begin with
And I shut my eyes tight
Hoping that they might go away
Leave me alone for tonight
You said once we could never fall apart
But the heart wants what it wants
And I guess it's allowed to change its mind then too
You showed me how capable mine is to love unconditionally,
Without inhibitions or prejudice
You made me believe I'll have no other but you
You failed to tell me that won't work the same for you
Now your souls intertwined with another
And mine left out in the cold
I'm not going to be told twice
This act of betrayal will suffice
This I know and this I believe
I'll never trust a heart again
Especially when it vows to never leave.

Thursday, 8 June 2017

Packing up

Yet again
I find myself packing up my stuff.
Rolling, not folding, to make space for it all.
Putting all this weight I am, to use,
just to get it shut inside,
just to hide
all of me that's usually rare to see,
all of me that's strange and yet too real,
packed away yet again with hope to never have reason to see the light of day
to never again fall prey to love,
to never fall, only rise above.
This implosion of sorts
felt too real.
I thought we had a deal,
but words mean more to me than they do to you.
And I vow now, to never resort to poetry, if in love, I fall again
I will cut off a finger before it touches a pen,
For in words I found security
Purity of a love.
And in words, all said and done,
I found betrayal, that of trust, trust in just one.
I wish to move away and on
wish to never meet another one
wish to never put down in words,
how wonderful life is when one's in the world.
My face in my hands, warm tears moisten my palms,
just a tired soul and restless qualms.
There's only so much one can take,
there's only so many compromises one can make.
Shake me out of this bad dream,
tell me nothing's as it seems,
before I stand up, ready to go,
suitcase of loyalty and love in tow.
My words for you always just flow,
now they cause chills, turned cold and bitter,
no silver lining to your worlds stormy weather.
My words, they floored,
But now they don't even make sense anymore.