Wednesday, 25 October 2017

25th October- A Comeback

There comes a time where you just stop looking back at your past. At every mistake you made thinking it was the right choice, the right lead, the right moment, the right person. Wrong. It was all wrong and you hold it against yourself stronger than you ever would anything else.

But all of that one day comes to an end. You pause and realise that none of it is worth it. That excruciating pain in your neck from looking around at what’s long behind you, what belongs behind you, all wrong behind you. You find a cure in just looking straight ahead, far ahead and you think:  "fuck that".

That’s when the universe will rush into your world and hit you with something hard enough to let you fall right back into the day, into the current moment, the present.
And you’ll thank it. Even though your head feels sore, and you’re heart even more.
You’ll thank it even though painful was the fall, and safe landing- none at all.
You’ll thank it because you’ll know, this moment is screaming "go",
and then on, no more will you stand- one foot out the door.

Step out, step on, step ahead
There’s only a world of opportunities waiting beyond your depressing bed.
Get out of your head,
quit calculating every move and find your groove in things you enjoy.
Find a girl, find a boy, hell! Go find a toy.
Just never employ intoxicants to time travel you back to yesterday.

Yesterday is poisonous,
tomorrow is ecstasy,
to hell with what’s over and done,
design your own destiny.

Tuesday, 20 June 2017


We floated out into the waves
and when we reached a place we knew we were safe,
we surrendered.
And I saw it, the moment time stood still,
I saw it the moment your heart filled,
in the waters I felt the weight of your soul
and all the love that never grew old,
and you stared up into a purple evening sky,
never once losing faith in the waters holding you up,
carrying you nigh.
Your gaze, fixed on a single star, your hand holding mine so I wouldn't go far,
in that moment I felt the currents, ghosts of touches against our skin.
Tonight was about worshiping the stars,
tonight was more about lying there, than a swim.
Lying there with not a fear for the world and it's whims,
Hymns of praise and melodic tunes have reached the skies and kissed the moon.
Yet, here we are hoping to be reunited soon,
with the friends we've made and the souls that fade.

We waded out to the shore
When the tides got stronger than the tears we wore.
Hearts sore, souls exhausted,
the moment was short, but enchanting while it lasted.

Another soul on the way home
Another life, on the sands of heaven, will roam.

With our feet in the sand and palms safe in each others hands
We said a prayer of thanksgiving
For the dead and the living.

Time doesn't stand still anymore.
Neither do our feet on that very same shore.
You alone could freeze time for us all,
You alone were a big difference in a world so small.
The waves don't hit us as often as your kind heart did,
The horizon doesn't glow as pretty as your smile.
Time will stay moving and hearts will keep loving,
But we'll swim towards that moment everyday of our while,
Hoping that the current will send your voice in a wave,
And for a moment, just a tiny moment we will be reminded of the joy you gave.
You left a mark, you touched souls.
Your memory, your love, your strength bold
We won't let it drown, we won't let it fade,
we won't let your story die, and mostly go untold.

Monday, 12 June 2017


Let me confess
I'm not as perfect as you think I am
I'm not supernatural and I'm not someone who's all forgiving and all understanding.
Believe it or not I have a heart very similar to your own
A heart that races, hurts, rages and even gives up
I'm only human.
So on nights when I'm laying in my bed questioning why the stars align a certain way they do and why they still can't ever let me have you
I'm left thinking about the way you used to whisper Always
Like it was your favourite word
The only word you would put all your faith in
I'm left thinking about a one worded promise
And how if we kept it
I wouldn't be laying here thinking about you
I'd be talking to you and listening even more
But life's not ideal
And my hearts more real than you and I could ever believe
And if you called me your lover
Why then do my insecurities awaken and hover
Around my head
In my head
Under my bed
Demons hidden within me
They tell me you never cared to begin with
And I shut my eyes tight
Hoping that they might go away
Leave me alone for tonight
You said once we could never fall apart
But the heart wants what it wants
And I guess it's allowed to change its mind then too
You showed me how capable mine is to love unconditionally,
Without inhibitions or prejudice
You made me believe I'll have no other but you
You failed to tell me that won't work the same for you
Now your souls intertwined with another
And mine left out in the cold
I'm not going to be told twice
This act of betrayal will suffice
This I know and this I believe
I'll never trust a heart again
Especially when it vows to never leave.

Thursday, 8 June 2017

Packing up

Yet again
I find myself packing up my stuff.
Rolling, not folding, to make space for it all.
Putting all this weight I am, to use,
just to get it shut inside,
just to hide
all of me that's usually rare to see,
all of me that's strange and yet too real,
packed away yet again with hope to never have reason to see the light of day
to never again fall prey to love,
to never fall, only rise above.
This implosion of sorts
felt too real.
I thought we had a deal,
but words mean more to me than they do to you.
And I vow now, to never resort to poetry, if in love, I fall again
I will cut off a finger before it touches a pen,
For in words I found security
Purity of a love.
And in words, all said and done,
I found betrayal, that of trust, trust in just one.
I wish to move away and on
wish to never meet another one
wish to never put down in words,
how wonderful life is when one's in the world.
My face in my hands, warm tears moisten my palms,
just a tired soul and restless qualms.
There's only so much one can take,
there's only so many compromises one can make.
Shake me out of this bad dream,
tell me nothing's as it seems,
before I stand up, ready to go,
suitcase of loyalty and love in tow.
My words for you always just flow,
now they cause chills, turned cold and bitter,
no silver lining to your worlds stormy weather.
My words, they floored,
But now they don't even make sense anymore.

Saturday, 8 April 2017


They said if you get too close, you'll burn.
Fly too high and it might be the last lesson you'll learn.
Fly too low and the lesser you'll know.
So find a balance, keep your eyes open, feel the wind
and judge for yourself, be alert, know you way.
Had they warned me how good it would feel to jump,
how addictive the fall and the rise above it all,
would I have known better, been wiser?
Had I known how beautiful the sun,
how it put all my pieces back together
turned million to one, whole,
shone on me like soft gold,
Had I  known,
would I have thought twice?
Or challenged the wind and regardless, flown.

It burned my soul and ignited in me
a flame so strong, stubborn to the breeze.
A fire that failed to cease
my heart from racing the currents,
embracing the winds.
I competed with every breath,
to fly further from inevitable death
or towards it,
I wasn't even sure.
But when the sky's your bed and the sun your love,
you wouldn't mind it, were you to die a dove.

Closer, higher, falling upwards to your warmth,
wind in my hair, you were there,
constant, all encompassing, soul bare.
Where nothing could freeze my soul
no breeze too strong to turn my heart cold
you were it, you were the one,
lost, and in love, I flew higher towards my sun.

Was Icarus a fool
to have lent a deaf ear to his father's only rule?
He was free and in love
with hope and wings of a dove.
While we're all looking for the something in between
Icarus experienced a love unseen.

I'm inching higher, nearing the clouds he sought
I'm afraid I'm just like him in soul, in heart and in thought.

Sunday, 19 March 2017

Confessions of an Overindulgent Mind

This could be my over imaginative mind that's never been kind to me and my heart
But its always played a part in building me and my hopes
only to destroy them and leave me clinging to a rope, the only thing left to hold on, to to hang on to my sanity.
Excuse my vanity, but there's this thing about me, this thing I see
every time you're near me. Dear me! time begins to warp, and slow down,
my feet don't feel a ground.
You probably think I sound delirious but this is something I determine serious
For I cannot go a minute without a day dream of you in it.
You're there when I wake up,
You're there in my sleep
You're there trying to keep me and my arms around you.
Surround you but then I awake.
But I see you're a mystery
Wanting to be read like a third grader learning history.
Kiss me and I will read every word on your lips like you are the only thing I will ever believe in
Leave in your insecurities so that my tongue can explore
What it tastes like to encounter your heart long before
you know what I will say when I tell you how I'll love you always.
Again I'm lost in a day dream of sorts where I'm near you
And shivering with giddy delight
Because my soul feels light and in love
When you're near me, when you're around and about
There's absolutely not a speck of doubt
that I've fallen for your quirks and all.
Loving every page of you, folding the edges of you
that I want to come back later to.
Exploring fables inked in your skin,
Tracing circles along your spine that boasts of so many wins,
Ghost-kissing your shoulder and telling you stories of us growing older.
This could be my over imaginative mind that's never been kind to me and my heart
But its always played a part in building me and my hopes
only to destroy them and leave me clinging to a rope, the only thing left to hold on, to to hang on to my sanity.
Excuse my vanity, there's this thing about me, this thing I see
I see you watching me,
me falling harder, and deeper in love with thee.

Monday, 13 March 2017


I looked to my left
and there I saw it.
A portal. Disguised as eyes.
So inviting I couldn't resist
And my toes, tempted as they were to test new waters,
jumped in without a thought,
fought no resistance from a heart, otherwise so shy,
so hesitant on any other day to even say "Hi".
But here I was, now and for a long time, dreading a goodbye.
By and by I grew comfortable in your universe,
still unsure whether you were a boon or a curse.
The rantings of your soul began to quench my thirst.
You brought out the worst
in me and the best in me,
and I could see no other but you.
You were true and mad and deep,
and I loved you.
Truly, madly and deeply.
We were a real life fairy-tale
Tip toeing around what never should have been,
But was anyway.
The sky was the limit for our kind of love.
Above us and below us, all around us denied,
But you were my safe place, my north star, the only place I could hide
Beside you, was where my heart resided
I confided and so did you,
our love abided but fell apart too.

And now I'm writing words they don't get.
And context that was never set.
Let them never understand the force that took my hand and pulled me in through that portal,
a love that was fatal and new,
that brought colours and blue,
that left me admitting things I've never said before,
that left me standing by your door
and whispering..
"Please just give us another chance,
My melody is incomplete without your soul and a dance."

One mistake, one fault of my own,
I see now in hindsight,
back where it all began
I should have never fallen through
I should have never held your hand
I should have ditched the portal and its alluring light
I should have, I wish I had, forcefully looked to my right.