Thursday 10 December 2015

Weak


I refuse to be myself
I refuse to act normal
I refuse to conform to the world's expectations
Excuse me if I say things that aren't like me
Excuse me if I roll my eyes at you
and excuse me if I drift away
This is my way of giving the world what it gives me
call me foolish, call me revengeful
but I have a heart
and the universe has made it it's life's aim to tear it apart
So let me mourn
let me grieve
let me, for once, not believe
That life is good, and life will get better
cause right now I'm falling off the end of my tether
I sought comfort, I sought peace
but the last thing I feel is ease.
For one who usually feels too much at once
I am reduced to numbness
Nothingness, a dunce.
And a quiet so deafening
I long for noise, noise of any kind
to fill up the silence of a grieving mind.
A drop, and then ripples, and soon waves
Change hits me like an ocean
tears catching up with graves.
And all I want is to be saved
from heart-damage and pain
not another loss, not again.
Take not from me
another piece
I am doing all I can
to hold together the real me.
Binding parts of me with the remnants of my worn soul
I am weak, tired and growing cold
Weakness has never been me
but suddenly, strength is a mirage too farfetched
and I am left pleading with thee
Take not away, another part of me.

Saturday 5 December 2015

Eyes

She was a star from conception , A design too good to be true
But she was sent to earth , His good to do
She was a walking talking piece of art
Beautiful inside and out
The apple of her parents eyes, best friend to many, no doubt
She was a leader in the truest sense
Led by example and deed
Flaws she had a few, but then again, don’t we all?
Her perfections over powered the imperfections
To complain, there was no need
Elocution queen with eyes that spoke louder than words
She was an explosion of talent
With a voice of the birds
Bubbly, vibrant, bright and beautiful
A pacakage of happiness all bundled in one
What good did the earth do? This award to have won.
She was by my side for 12 years of my life
She held my hand when joy paled in comparison to strife
Growing up in her company, teaching and learning
We changed and dreamed, with hearts that stayed burning
But life gets in the way, and plans change
And the Master of it all, has ways that seem strange
And even though I will never understand
God took away the star that once held my hand.
She was one of a kind
Animal lover, natures friend, human with a genius mind.
The world has lost a gem,
A reason to shine.
Even in death, she gave to the world
Her million dollar eyes she left behind
So that someday, someone, some hope will find.

I am left wondering why the words never came sooner
Why lives slip so easily and how they never get to know
How much we love and care, its a pity we never show.
I wish I had told her sooner, or that I could make her stay
I feel foolish to have never expressed how I adored her funny ways.
She was one of a kind.
I won't see her any more
Until the day I knock on heaven's door
Until then her memory I will keep
Alive, awake, never asleep.
I don’t quite want to accept it,
And I don’t quite think I will.
She was a fighter, a warrior,
an inspiration till the end.
She was.
She will
Forever be my best friend.

RIP Sanjna Akre 💓

Friday 20 November 2015

Fire

You are a wick, waiting to shine,
To be touched by a flame, to ignite
To burn souls and leave a mark
To be hope in someone's dark
To take someone's breath away
And to give someone reason to stay.
You are here and you will shine
You are even warmer than a cold night's glass of wine
You weaken knees and shake the earth
You are beautiful, for whatever it's worth
You bring life, love and mirth
You are no destruction, only a comforting hearth.
In your presence the hardest of souls will melt,
And in your embrace no negativity will be felt.
You are easy on the eyes and a cure for a cold heart.
You're the answer to many a prayer,
A solution, and for many a life, a vital part.
The fire in your veins burns every life you touch
You are powerful, and mean so much
You don't know the fire in you like I do,
You are danger and safety all wrapped in one.
You, my dear, are lava, light and warmth
My north star, my sun.

Soul to Soul

Be careful when you lay your heart open to someone. You give them a power over you. You offer them your weaknesses to hold and the knowledge of everything that could break you or make you.
One in a million will resist the urge to use your weaknesses against you, one in a million will be aware of the power they have over your heart and not take advantage of it, one in a million will see you at your worst and stay instead of run, one in a million will know that behind that facade of strength and happiness is a struggling soul just making it through.
That one in a million will need you as much as you need them. And it will be that interdependence that'll push you both ahead. We are all weak and insignificant, we pale in comparison to the universe and the challenges it throws at us each rotation the earth takes.
We need a soul to hold our own together when our own hearts threaten to tear us apart. Souls require souls to bond with, to relate with, and to embrace so that even when the world sits heavily on our shoulders, we have someone to share the weight. Souls need souls who can simply say "it'll get better" rather than "I told you so" or "have faith" rather than "there's nothing that can be done" or "I love you" rather than "you're a failure".
Souls need building up and not breaking down. We rely on one another to grow and in the process we learn more, enough to be stand strong even when the world thinks we're wrong. We count on the other to be there when we make mistakes, to not judge and to hold our pieces together when we break. We count on one another to always stay in touch, to never lose the connection, the affection and the constant attention.
We build an understanding, a contract of sorts, to be eachother's person, bound by the tightest of hypothetical knots. Souls don't just read eachothers thoughts, they become one with them, they are a collection of people and vibes, good and bad. Souls carry scars and memories, every pain and every joy, every encounter, every experience, souls are filled to the brim yet hungry, greedy for love. Bare your soul to whomever you will, but be aware you will no longer be a keeper of your own secrets, be aware you've given someone a piece of you, trusting that while holding it close they will not use it against you. Be aware that you are no longer one. You are a part, incomplete without the soul, the one you chose, the one you let in with no second thought, to hold your tired self when the battles are fought.

Even as I warn you, I wish to inform you, there are souls that live to make another feel safe. Appreciate these mates, make them known and loved, show them that you are thankful for their care. Show them, that you will always be there.

I rarely rant, but this had to be done, soulmates are hard to find... I pray you find the right one.

Wednesday 18 November 2015

Living To Love You


Loving you comes naturally to me,
like how it takes no thought for a bird to sit on a tree
Loving you needs no text to study.
You are a book in yourself,
quite like the read I love on a Sunday afternoon.
Loving you requires no night sky or bright moon.
I can love you just the same under the bright blue sky,
lit up by the sun.
Loving you is like sitting by the fireplace on a cold winters night,
warmth and good vibes all in one.
Loving you can be a task,
especially when that wall you hide behind stands strong,
your refuge, your protective mask.
Loving you is battling every negative emotion I can conjure.
It makes me think of how I can't think.
and how you're the only cure.
Loving you is as natural as a blink,
involuntary, necessary and the right amount of rest.
Loving you can be a mess,
chaos in my heart causing pain in my chest.
But loving you, is the best I can do,
because you stand out from the rest,
Loving you, comes easily to me.
I know no other love as extraordinary as this.
Loving you is as easy as a touch
and as awakening as a kiss.
Loving you is what I've come to miss.

Demons of the Dusk


Behind every warrior-heart,
is a soul battered and torn.
A soul that's weary,
and from all the war, worn.
She has a shield to protect her heart,
and bubble wrap to better her fall,
she can grow tired of fighting
of always standing tall.
She may be strong
and often never wrong,
but she's only human
she wants a love
to carry her along.
All her armour and all her might
pales in comparison to the thoughts she has at night.
For it is in the quiet,
that she stands alone 
in a real fight of her own, 
caught between her heart and her mind,
standing on a threshold of what's wrong and right.
There she stands, stripped of all armour,
vulnerable, weak to anything that could harm her.
Demons of loneliness and depression
stand before her, in an arc of aggression.
And she waits on the field,
for someone to come stand with her
waits and waits until dusk disappears.
She rises with the sun,
even though her battle isn't won,
and walks on to fight the demons she can.
Dreading the monsters of the night,
she fights the day, 
Hoping some night, she'll be an army of two 
to drive those dusk demons away.

Sunday 8 November 2015

The Real Deal


You could read all those fancy deep quotes about love and think you understand.
You could listen to lyrics of the most romantic love songs ever known to man.
You could read poems and plays and watch movies that promise 'always',
And still never know if love stays.
You could watch your friends go through heart break, only to fall again another time.
You could watch lovers express in rhyme.
But you will still not understand love and it's crime.
No.
Love will come to you in its unexpected time.
And it'll shake the earth beneath your feet
It will drown you and desert you
And make you break before you wake
And smell the roses
And I suppose this
is how it must feel.
It must feel honest,
frustrating and real.
Love will be terrifying and fixing
and all levels of pain
Love will drive you completely insane.
But to my descriptions,
pay no heed
I am but only another mislead.
Love is to be felt and to be given,
Not to be expressed and well written.
Love is a metaphor for feeling everything and nothing at all
When loves dials,
I hope you have a great fall

Sunday 25 October 2015

Pay Attention


The secret is to pay attention.
to watch every move,
and learn her groove,
to observe and learn,
her love, to earn.
To listen more than talk
to learn the way she walks.
Is it lazy? is it rushed?
how badly has her heart been crushed?
Notice the small things,
the way she laughs,
and the times she doesn't.
Notice what gets her quiet
and what gets her ranting nineteen to the dozen.
Take a moment to only watch,
when she doesn't realize you're looking.
Study the lines on her face when she's
reading, or sleeping, or even cooking.
There's so much to know
from the things she doesn't show
and all the things she doesn't say.
Read into her anyway,
You may not be able to read her mind,
but learn her right
and a deep connection you'll find.
Save yourself the apprehension,
The secret is to pay attention.

Saturday 24 October 2015

Trapped Behind A Kiss


I can't tell you what I feel,
I can't tell you what I pray for when I kneel,
I can't describe to you what I dream of at night,
and I surely can't tell you about this internal fight.
I can't talk about my fears,
and I can't explain how you bring me sad and happy tears,
and I also can't tell you why I constantly want you near.
I can't describe the goosebumps on my skin,
neither can I talk about the shivers within.
My tongue won't dare speak of your smile,
it hasn't been able to say the right words for a while.
I can't talk of your strength and how it holds me,
and I can't talk of the love I see
in your eyes. I can't say
how I need you each day,
when I've never needed anything this way.
I can't tell you how every breath,
exists to mingle with your own,
and how when we're not talking,
I feel the worst of alone.
I can't put in words
what my heart won't let me admit,
I can't say out loud,
how I love you to bits.
But if you let me kiss you,
I assure you one thing
you'll hear every word I've been unable to say,
and every song I dared not to sing,
you'll feel every emotion I've kept away,
and every thought that never saw the light of day.
If you let me kiss you,
you'll know then the chaos within me,
and how only you have the power to quieten the ruckus.
You have the power to release me with a kiss
I won't hold you to it, I won't expect you to stay
but kiss me just once and know what I dared not to say. 

Wednesday 21 October 2015

Undigitalize

In a world so caught up in connecting online, you may wonder why I would sit here and post something called ‘Un-digitalize’. Who even has the time to hear what I have to say about something they would never think of doing? i.e. Going offline. Well, you’ve reached here, now you might as well give my rant a chance.

I am a geek to say the least, and to put it very plainly, I value the friends and connections I’ve made over the internet. It amuses me how you can be with someone while being alone at your computer and share togetherness while being worlds apart. I felt connected. I felt in-touch.

Bullshit. Don’t let anyone let you believe an online friendship is real. Real togetherness comes from real encounters and real bonding.

We have grown up into an age where the digital world fools us into believing things that don’t exist. We constantly look for acknowledgement and appreciation in the form of  ‘likes’ and ‘follows’ to make up for our lack of self-esteem, thereby feeding our egos to console our insecurities and wherever else we lack in the real world. We’ve taken it to such an extent, that today, even while being in the physical presence of friends, we are online and bonding digitally, while ‘Real Togetherness’ is screaming for our attention.

Sometimes I envy my elders who lived their lives free of technology and the digital world. They were high-spirited, confident and they sought real friendships. They planned picnics to the beach, built sand castles, chased butterflies, played 7 tiles and tag, and spent hours on end with nature and its calming beauty.  They even found their spouses without any help and existence of a digital world because there was nothing more beautiful than spending quality time with a loved one.

They captured memories on cameras without knowing what the hard copy of the photo would look like, they clicked candid pictures that really meant 'candid', and they surely didn’t post it to a forum, hungry for acknowledgement and acceptance. Those were the days when togetherness was about actually spending quality time with the people you love and adore and not face-timing or ‘whatsapp’ing when you live just a few blocks apart.

Take a walk in the park, or simply go watch the sun set over the vast horizon and be sure to share that beautiful moment with a friend. It is the small wonders of nature that move us if we let it. It is my plea to you dear friend, that you get your rear off that seat and go see a friend. Wipe off the dust that’s collected on your people-skills and get to work. You have people to meet, new friendships to make and real togetherness to experience. 

In a world that’s getting more fake by the day, make an effort to build relationships that are real so that you can say you’ve experienced Real Togetherness.

Undigitalize.

Kissan believes in breaking free from the clutches of our phones and computers and enjoying Real Togetherness. Learn more here- http://www.kissanpur.com/



Tuesday 20 October 2015

That Old Grey T-Shirt


Step by step,
one piece at a time,
you separated your things from mine.
You took away whatever you brought,
and slowly took over my every thought.
Your frames and your perfumes,
your make up and your shoes,
every cabinet and cupboard that we shared
now reeked of a single heart, torn and bared.
You packed your clothes and hid the tears
you walked out on me and my silent fears,
you boxed it all up inside
just like the emotions you tried to hide.
You pulled from me, what we tried so hard to build,
I held on tighter than I've ever held before,
but you needed to get out, you needed more.
You simply wanted to go.
For a year now, I thought I had captured your heart,
but surprise surprise, in your handful of obsessions,
I was but a small part,
even though you vowed,
only death would do us part.
You may have undone everything we put together,
you may have taken away all that was yours from mine,
but darling you forget every single time,
our lives have blended together to a point of no return.
You can't take the love away, you can't ignore that burn.
I will fight for you, I will,
my heart will not sit still.

I noticed you came back when I was away,
I also noticed you took a shirt of mine that I had left out yesterday.
If you're lonely, I need you to just say.
I will come get you, bring you home today.
I found the t-shirt you left for me,
the one that smells beautifully of you,
that grey ol' thing you liked to wear at night,
the one I used to tease your skin beneath when I loved you right.
The memory brought me a smile,
the kind I haven't worn in a while.
I felt you near when I brought it close
soft material, soothing, warm, you,
but cold.
I hope when you wear my shirt tonight,
it will remind you that we are bigger than the fight
and maybe, just maybe,
we can make things right.
Come home soon, I miss breathing you
until then, this old grey t-shirt will have to do..


Sunday 18 October 2015

4 am Call


I want to be your safe landing,
your north star.
I want to be wherever the hell you are.
When you're feeling blue,
I want to be all of its shades,
and with you.
I want to be the star you search for,
when the light in your life dies down.
I want to be that stupid joke,
that maybe even for a moment can banish a frown.
I want to be that hug you can run to,
whenever you need and whenever you don't.
Deny you love? I can't, I won't.
I want to be those 'past midnight, too early morning' calls,
when you feel trapped behind your self-erected walls.
I want to be the story you tell yourself at night,
when sleep is a dream, and for rest you fight.
When you're making up plots and calling the shots,
I want to be the character you adore lots.
I want to be your go-to girl,
when nightmares become synonymous with the world,
and when running away
seems like an escape too far away,
and the safest feeling
is when under your blanket you curl.
I want to be the sun and it's warmth,
when the ice of everyone's love begins to burn.
I won't teach you trust,
but with you I want to learn.
I want to be a step behind,
so that I can watch you shine,
and cheer you on as the years go on.
I will stand proud,
screaming your name in the crowd.
And I will catch you when you take that dive,
when you decide you want to fall.
I will be there waiting,
just like always.
Arms wide open, standing tall.
I was and forever will be
your 4 am call.

Thursday 15 October 2015

Together When Apart


Time could have changed us,
time could have diminished what we had,
it could have made me love you less,
it could have brought on a storm of sad.
We could have lost touch,
and never seen each other again,
we could have become strangers,
known not the hows and when.
We could have let go,
of a love we let grow.
we could have broken this bond,
and never been more.
We could have never let this show.
We could have given into the distance,
and walked further away,
time would have healed hearts
but we kept them together anyway.
I believe with all my heart,
what we had and still have is strong,
that between you and me,
Nothing can go wrong.
We've held close till today,
and even though you're far away,
you're a major part of what I've become.
You're a star, an inspiration and then some.
Distance could have made us glum,
to a tiny bit of sadness, I could have succumbed,
but we're different, we're joint at the heart,
you and I are as strong as they come, 
close enough, together when apart. 

Monday 12 October 2015

Wonder Woman


She's seen it all.
She's watched the worst of them rise
and the best of them fall.
She's may be just about 5 ft tall,
but in her eyes, no challenge is too small.
She may come across as naive,
and often too sweet,
but she is a fighter,
a warrior underneath.
It is in not knowing that I learned her,
in studying her smile that I saw,
she's a walking talking miracle and more
even though, she endures an internal war.
There are some who try hard,
but never get past her shield,
they scratch and claw
but she can see they won't survive her battlefield.
Their determination pales in comparison,
to the constants that made their way in,
those special ones who crept in through the cracks
they're the ones who'll always have her back.
She's a storm in her own right,
she'll love you with all her might,
she'll embrace you lovingly when life becomes night,
she's anything but quiet,
she won't let go without a fight.
And when a loved one fought darkness for life
she was her only light.
She held her hand and all seemed right.
She is angelic, magical, unreal and dear.
She is no stranger to the power of a tear.
She's had a fair share of pain,
but she's grown from there,
never to see those wars again.
She's deep and emotional,
but rightly so,
just when you think she's lagging,
she'll love you even more.
She's a tiny explosion of love,
hitting you just when you need.
There is a fire in her eyes,
an enthusiasm in the air she breathes.
I may not know much,
but I know enough to say,
She's a star in the depth of a dark night,
and I love her,
louder and brighter each day. 

Wednesday 7 October 2015

Take Me Along


It hurts
a little more every time
and I can't say a word
for you aren't doing a crime.
but it hurts enough to bring me here
to type out another rhyme

I wish you knew what it does to me
to know you'll pack and leave
you'll have me packing my own heart away
the very same that I wore on my sleeve

I worry for my tomorrow love
if i'll make it without you, and how?
if I can overcome the truth you are
by disguising our love now.

I'll be damned if I let you slip through my fingers
without a fight
we may have been friends in the eyes of many
but you were my lover by night

I can't make you stay
I can't tell you you shouldn't go away
you are a bird taking flight
You'll fly high, I pray.

The pain will come in storms
shaking my world everyday
it's something I'll have to deal with
become one with it, if I may

You waltzed in, shook the earth beneath me
and now my solid ground you'll take
you've been my only constant
my favorite earthquake

Leave if you have to,
if it's the life you want to make
but take my love along, dear
At least for my heart's sake.

Monday 5 October 2015

Get Real


It's always me,
it's always me giving you chances,
chances to prove yourself, chances to explain,
its always me who falls again and again.
There is always pain,
and nothing else to gain.
It's always you driving me insane.
You always promised I would be your main.
Your prime lover, your favorite name.
But now all we ever do is play the blame game
Nothing's the same.
Am I now just another dame?
I've done this so many times now,
it's like I've learned your tells somehow,
You hold me close and whisper love
you make me feel like your very own turtle dove.
And then in the very next moment you're changing tides
and an ocean of doubt threatens to overflow from my eyes.
You are unpredictable and mostly unsure of yourself,
you're a coward storing my heart on a shelf.
I pray that you see one day
that you have a huge price to pay.
My heart isn't meant to stay that way
and when I'm sick of waiting on you to man up,
I shall dust you off me, and walk away.
Show me you're not who you're proving yourself to be
show me before it's too late,
show me you truly love me.

Wednesday 30 September 2015

Insider


I've never wanted anything more than to travel into your mind,
To read every thought you ever note down there,
Understand every emotion your heart generates,
and feel every move your soul feels.
I've never wanted anything more than to touch your thoughts
when they're unguarded, natural, flowing aimlessly.
I've longed, since the time I met you,
to take a dive into your stream of consciousness,
to watch you filter out thoughts before they leave your lips,
and to know why, they in particular, didn't make the cut.
I need to find the thoughts that you create,
the ones you ridicule yourself for,
I want to know why you think they're any less,
when they're worth so much more.
I want to delve deep into that place within you,
where your secrets dance around,
restless to make they're way out,
yet desperate to be locked inside.
I want you to know, you no longer have to hide.
I want to talk to those demons within you,
the ones that you think are stronger than life,
I want to tell them they're wasting they're time,
within a soul who believes loving selflessly is no crime.
I've longed to know of what you fear for,
and what sometimes brings a tear.
I wish to get to know the lover you want near.
I've craved to witness what you must dream of at night
and whether your eyes waste away, asleep till dawn's light,
or if your eye lids battle sleep, to awake,
knowing they'll lose the fight.
I've always wanted to get inside your head.
And then one day, you began to write. 

Sunday 20 September 2015

Worry When She Stops


You liked it.
You liked her worry every day,
it's what kept you ashore, kept you at bay
but then you took that care for granted,
made one, small, silly mistake.
Now she's indifferent towards you,
from you, she's walked away.
It's when she has stops caring, that you should worry
it's when she stops checking on you, that you should fear.
For then it means you've pushed the limit,
you've left her thinking you're weak, dear.
You've driven her to a point where she can have no hope,
you've showed her you're no different then the rest.
For as long as you had her poking her nose into your business,
you had someone who cared enough to tell you to stop.
But now, you're alone and she's given up.
She saw enough.
She's got better things to do, than look after you.
Now is when it hurts the most,
when she's sailing away, leaving you at the coast.
All those times you shunned her away,
when all she tried to do was help you stay.
You see it now, but its too late.
she was different, kind, and so rare
she was one among none who actually cared.

Thursday 3 September 2015

Alpha


Alphas - both of them.
And that has it's perks and it's flaws
It brings the highs and the lows,
challenges and ego blows,
But they hold strong as far as holding on goes.

Alphas, trying to hold their own, 
yet share with one another,
trying to overlap and still be independent
Somewhere between needing eachother to fall back on
and wanting space to grow,
they built a bridge of understanding, leading to each heart's door.
It's never easy, it hurts more often than not
but it's the fruit of the challenge that makes it worth a lot.

Alphas, both passionate souls,
hearts that don't usually stoop for anyone, 
always independent and bold
Their loving is intense and as intimate as lovers go
But their tiffs are loud and hurtful,  serious as hell below.

It'll surprise you what alphas can share
it'll catch you offguard when their souls they bare
they may be hard hearted and tough to the world
but stripped down at night, they let their inhibitions unfurl.

For after the screaming matches and ego clashes
there will come only tiredness and need for comfort
and the alpha in each will forget and breach
every rule made for themselves
and slowly but surely the heart will win over
the masks of Alphas gone, 
leaving behind just a pair of lovers.

Wednesday 2 September 2015

What Hope Did I Ever Have?


What hope did I ever have
when your eyes can compete with the stars and win,
when the touch of your hand can stand against the ecstasy that comes with making love.
What hope did I ever have
when the world's waiting at your feet,
when one word from your lips can move mountains.
What hope did I ever have
when all it takes is your smile to calm a raging sea,
when stars align above you before you fall asleep.
What hope did I ever have
when you blew a kiss my way and a 100 others stepped up to grab it,
when you smirked and the world died of perfection overdose.
What hope did I ever have
when the rain and the sun move to your directions
and when the birds follow you like your very own
What hope did I ever have
when the taste of your lips is like an expensive red wine,
when only the perfection of the moon is fit to be your partner to dine.
What hope did I ever have
when the world tied itself around your finger
when your love became it's saving grace
What hope did I ever have
when your eyes told stories better than any novel could,
when your life narrated and oozed inspiration for the world to be amused.
What hope did I ever have
when the earth shook in your anger and cried with you in your sorrow,
when your heart decided for the world, if there'd even be a tomorrow.
What hope did I ever have?
What right did I ever do?
To break through,
to deserve you.
What hope did I ever have
That you would love me back
the same way I love you.

Monday 31 August 2015

Wants


I want to love you.
And love you like the distance between light and sound,
like the second between midnight and morn,
like the sound of the silence at the crack of dawn.

I want to chase after your heart,
like the sea rushes to the shore,
I want to love you some more.

I want to break all dogma that keeps me away.
I want to stay.
I want to say I love you,
and I want you to love me too.
I already know you do.

I want us to walk hand in hand,
leave footprints in the sand.
I want us to have no plan,
and just maybe a slight tan.

I want to stop you on our stroll
and hold
your hand in mine
and then kiss your skin so fine.

I want to be thine
own. Always.
You are my craze.
A blurry haze,
when we kiss.
O but how I love this,
you are my bliss.

But so is ignorance.
I'm ignorant to what they say,
they don't matter anyway.

I want to love you like tomorrow waits for today,
like night chases after day,
and like two lovers lay,
unguarded, bare,
souls alive, breaths to share,
neat love, disheveled hair.

I want to love you,
mad,
and never let you feel a tad
lack of care.
I want to fall for you, time and again,
and rhyme again,
and write you poetry,
Be your history,
and your to-be,

Grow old by your side,
in your embrace I want to hide,
in your love I want to reside.
I want to love you like the tide,
so moved by the moon.
I want to love you soon.

Be here, stay mine
I want to love you like red wine,
and never run out of lines,
to tell you "you're extraordinary",
an infinite number of times
in an infinite number of ways
over an infinite number of days.

It is indefinite to be, at all, without you
and so I shall keep you
and promise you one simple thing,
listen and let it ring
in your heart.
'Always'

Saturday 29 August 2015

Sleep With Me


We'll lay down together
side by side.
I ask that you let me look into your eyes,
for there is where I see my rest,
there is where my peace lies.
I want our breathing to slow down
and fall,
just like I did, in love.
I know our heartbeats will wake up,
as we fall asleep.
They will be loud in their most silent way,
and they will keep our souls awake.
For when I'm lying next to you, lover,
I need no shelter, no damned cover.
You are the warmth and the comfort
my soul would ever need.
You are my heart-mate indeed.
I wish nothing more than for you to fall into a deep slumber,
under my constant gaze of admiration.
Let your guard down, love,
I will protect you from the bad dreams.
No demon, no hate can touch you,
while your soul rests near love.
No bad can come near you, dear,
I will rid your rest of all restlessness and fear.
I want nothing more than for you to stay near.
I will fall eventually too,
slowly, and then suddenly,  all at once
just like I did, in love, with you.

Monday 24 August 2015

May The Words Be With You


These simple words, they belong to you,
they were written with you in mind,
they were written about your mind,
they were meant to touch you,
they were meant to overwhelm you,
they are meant to help get to know you.
You are a wonder to be recorded.
You are to be known
And the world will see you through my eyes,
the world will read of your beauty,
and how it's beyond the limitless skies.
I am careful what I allow the world to know
I don't want your heart bared
for fear of cupid and his accurate arrow and bow.
I'm afraid if the world knew you entirely,
they would fall for you the way I do,
they would steal you away,
the way I want to each day.
They would love you wholly,
I'm sure. They'll know no other way.
You are admirable, adorable,
and I see through your facade.
Behind those walls, constructed strong and tall
I know a side of you that they cannot see
And these words will keep it that way
hidden from hungry eyes, ours alone to be.
I will write about you and for you,
and for all you ever stand for.
I will write about your thoughts and those that are not,
and about your rants and your calloused hands,
I will write about your joys and every memory dipped in sorrow
I will write about your history and your hopeful tomorrows
You are a mystery, slowly to be unravelled.
I want to venture into your soul
with words, I wish to travel.
I want the world to know that I love you so,
May these words be with you
May they be yours forever more.

Forever Thing


She is the sea, that came in at night,
hugged the shore and left too soon.
She took away with her, sands that neared the edges,
overpowered a part of me and turned to leave.
She is vast, mighty, my curse and my boon.
She is the night breezes that knock on my window,
eerily calling out to me to let her in.
as much as I try hard to ignore,
she is sure of her capability, sure she'll win.
She waltzes in and out of my sight
as and when she pleases.
But she is a constant, a promise of always,
an element that never ceases.
She is the bridge between my soul and myself,
she lies between my heart and my head,
she is a hug, enrapturing me with her arms,
she pieces together every broken part
and effortlessly quietens my qualms.
She is the silence of the night,
and the chaos of the day.
She is the noise in the quiet,
and a light for the way.
She pushes me ahead, leaving an old me behind.
I'd recognize that love, even if I were blind.
She is beauty, art and imperfection combined.
Search the world over, but my dear, you will never find
she is one in a million, one of a kind.
She's constantly in my heart and forever on my mind.
She is but an all encompassing 'Always' defined.
She is elegance, grace, charm and mostly,
Mine.

Thursday 20 August 2015

When I See You Again


When I see you again, I kid you not, love,
things won't be different
You and I may have individually changed
But nothing about 'us' will feel strange
I will look at you and tell you, "you look great"
You'll smile and maybe say the same
I'll pull you into my embrace and show you with arms
that our meet was fate, you came to quieten my qualms
I'll look to you like I'm staring at the stars
and you may just see the sparkle of them in my eyes.
Know then, love, that you are synonymous with things that shine.
You are forever glitter. beautiful, and mine.
When I smile, notice it's realness,
and how I haven't smiled like that for a while
know it's real then, only because of you
know that I haven't, in a while, felt happiness this true.
And when a bout of laughter overtakes me
at a snarky remark you make
know that it's always been you,
with your humor, the one, who takes the cake.
and when we sit down for coffee,
which I'm sure we will,
I'll look over at you, over my mug
and notice your smile, so innocent yet smug
I'll think about how much I missed this,
how much I missed seeing you
and without doubt, you'll say out loud,
"Love, I missed you too."

Sunday 16 August 2015

I'm Glad You Let It Go


It was crushing you, holding you down under it's power,
making it harder to breathe with every passing hour,
it ate you up inside,
all your beauty felt obliged to hide.
You were falling, deeper into oblivion,
and as much as they tried
to help, and to be by your side,
no one could banish all the tears that you cried.
You were deteriorating, being less than you
and somehow, with time, you managed to break through.
You decided to start anew.
and that, my dear, makes me so proud of you.
I'm glad you found that spirit inside you
I'm glad you reached your soul
and walked away from your monster of a captor 
I'm glad you climbed out of that damned hole!
It was difficult, probably the hardest thing you've ever done
to let go, and look beyond
to leave it behind with the setting sun.
To forget routine and break convention
to leave your old self behind 
and look at you from the eyes of another.
You did it, you saw, you pitied and you changed
you let go of your alien self, isolated it, estranged.
You took a step ahead and then a second
you started a new life before your old would end.
Look at you now, all shiny and new
this is the You I know, this is the real You.
Letting it go was all that you had to do,
I'm proud of you, and you should be proud of you too.
You're worth more than you think you are
Be your best, dear. Moving on was your best decision so far!

Tuesday 11 August 2015

Handle with Care


There exists nothing as pure as her.
At least none that I have known.
None that can capture so easily and wind around a finger.
But she, she was pure genius right from the beginning, I bet,
She must have been a marvel from conception,
and grew only to become the most beautiful heart I'd ever met.
Trust me, I know, I loved, and never let it show.
I believe her heart lies with me,
but she sees something in you, and for her, I'll forget me.
She deserves no less than your utmost care and affection
She is delicate, fragile, she is breakable and agile
but for as long as I can remember, she's worn her armor,
made entirely of empathy, love, sincerity and drive.
She's stood strong in the face of trouble and with great stress, dealt
that, in itself, defines her great stealth.
She's angelic on the inside, a warrior out front,
She's outspoken and often too blunt
There will be times when her heart will race,
thump hard against her cage and scream and cry
but you can't let go, you gotta hold on tight.
And the tighter you hold on, the harder she'll fight
until she tires and seeks you out as her refuge, her resting point
And as she rests against you, let her cry
Caress her face gently and listen to her sigh
She won't fight you when she sees you try
so very hard to comfort her soul.
You gotta stay immovable, strong and bold.
And even though she needs no extra strength,
her hearts a storehouse, and she'll need somewhere to vent
She is human, even though she looks God-sent.
She has moments when she wants to be weak
But she'll let you in, it is you, she will seek.
She is no easy task, I must warn you at last,
She will work you up, challenge you, make you sweat
She can be your worst nightmare while still being your best-friend
But whatever happens, she'll make it worth it in the end.
She's picky and fussy, and oh so very smart
She'll take you for a spin and end up dizzying your heart
watch out for that, it's quite the art,
one of her amusing talents, her control over a heart.
She's too confident for her own good,
she knows way more than she should.
She's running and flying, and chasing her goals
if you hold her back, she'll let you go
And if you ever hurt her at all
be it a matter big or small
she's strong enough to show you your place,
but I'll have her back, just in case.
If you've never seen hell break lose, heaven help you,
you'll know what it's like, when, to upset her, you choose.
Above all of this, do make note,
she's a story in the making, unfolding, an anecdote
she'll always surprise you, and always have more in store,
she'll never disrespect you, and she'll hear out every woe.
Keep her heart safe dear boy and treat it never, like a toy.
She belongs and always will, to me.
Yet she's a bird, lovable by all,
beautiful, passionate and free.

Thank You, Love


For the banter and the tease
For the sunset and the breeze
For every memory you gave
and every love letter I saved
For each lingering gaze
and for being my only craze
For the hand-holding
and midnight scolding
For confidence boosts
and pep talks
For morning coffees
and midnight walks
For truth and dares
and creepy stares
For all your love
and extraordinary care
For all that fixed us
and all that kept us apart
for all that tried to teach us
that loving is an art
For whatever reason we couldn't work
For all the things we said to hurt
For every truth we spoke out loud
and every lie that left our mouths
For all the kisses our lips dismissed
For every 'always', and every promise
For every  secret we thought we could keep
and every word that sunk in too deep
For all that we shared over the years
for all the anger and all the tears
I thank you love for being a part
of this jungle gym I have for a heart
I wish you were mine, and mine to stay
but mostly I wish, we'll love again someday.

Sunday 2 August 2015

I Hope We Don't Need A Day


You, who've grown with me, learned with me
I thank you for being my first examples of love
taught me what it meant to be a friend
I wish those dozen years never had to end

You who took on the world and flew away
put distance between us, yet managed to stay
you are my ultimate, my everyday
shine bright where you are love, but come home one day.

You who I see every single morning
my sorority sisters, beautiful hearts
you show me what it is to find family in friends
You show me that love never has to end

You that gather with me after sunset
closer to home, love to roam,
you bring joys of the simple kind
you few are hard to find.

You who I make music with,
Our bond is built on an art so unique
you talented bunch are a blessing
the highlight of my every week.

You who I've only just gotten to know
soulmates, dearests, our friendship will grow
You've been here for half a year
get ready for many awesome more

You who I've met through celebrations and fests
we screamed together, danced and sang
I'm glad we allowed ourselves to be more than an acquaintance
we'll forever be a crazy gang

You, who've stood by me through trying times
I thank you for holding my hand
and being my crutch
when my legs failed to stand

You who are my confidants
a five-some of lives for eternity
we may not meet, and may not talk as much
but we'll love until infinity.

You, who've stayed up nights with me
listening to me rant and think out loud
you had a choice and chose me anyway
you are the ones that will always stay

You who've helped me write
who inspire unknowingly with your lives
you are the reason I have words to share
you are the reason my emotions lay bare

You, who send your love from across the seas
I hope that eventually someday we'll meet
We crossed paths virtually because of a common love
and ended up building a bond I'm so proud of.

You, you know who you are
each of you make a difference, whether near of far
I hope my message came through just fine
For I have a variety of friends, and a plethora of rhymes

I pray, my friends, you understand what I had to say
and most importantly, I hope we don't need a day. 

Tuesday 28 July 2015

Calm In The Storm


And when the skies cry out for all the pain
for all the lost love, it stood to gain
I will stand with you, through the storm and the rain
however far you drive me insane
you are shelter from the might of the winds
even when I'm being blown away
you make me believe there is a song in the breeze
you make me believe there is always a way
and when you blend in,
become as strong as the storm
when you become the angry downpour and rain
I wish to feel your pain
I wish to be drenched in you aggressive embrace
I wish nothing than to get into your personal space
You are the storm within me, unsettling and restless
awakening me, like the rains do to the earth
opening my soul to newness and love
You are wild and powerful, yet right
you bring to me, in all of the ruckus, peace and quiet
You are the calm in the storm
when the thunder roars in time with my heart
you shine brighter than the flash of lightning
in a dark windy sky, you are a work of celestial art
the rain's falling hard and noisy against my window pane
my hearts a storm, but sheltered from the rain
you are the storm I wish to throw myself into
you are the calm I wish to gain.

Thursday 23 July 2015

Rust


Age old and sturdy
you and I will remain
when the hammer hits
we'll hold each other,
refuge from the pain
we have only each other to lose,
only each other to gain.
There is something that holds us together
Something that won't let us fall apart
Something hard as metal, a real work of art
Rain and snow, trials and woe
will rust it up, more than we know
We'll erode, and one day
be one with the dust
but if it means I will grow old with you
I will happily rust.

Wednesday 15 July 2015

Stubborn and Scarred


I have scars on my hands from touching hearts
they walked into my life and stole my attention
they shook the ground beneath me and made me unstable
they took every rule I had made for myself and broke it like it was nothing
and in my mind I was a free bird, a soul thirsty for love
a soul being quenched with theirs.
With every wall broken I now had no place to hide
I was open and alive, and very much naive
I reached out to love,
and my safe place to leave
and with every little piece of me I gave
I left nothing for me, myself to save
I was burned
with every spark of love I ignited
I attracted but another sting
with every new heart I won
I put myself before the gun
Scarred and burned, I lay un-turned,
fighting for my breath, I'll never learn
I have scars on my hands from touching hearts
here I go again, heal, love, restart.


Monday 13 July 2015

Permanency


Now and then I like to recall
that faithful day I took the fall
when things were new and we were too,
that walk in the evening was as beautiful as you
I like to go back to that day time and again
and constantly relive that moment when
your fingers brushed against mine
and then so naturally intertwined
we talked about me and we talked about you
we talked about all of the things we like to do.
You stuttered and stammered while I acted like a fool
we were imperfectly perfect, the hottest of the cool.
we looked at the ground and smiled
we looked everywhere else but dared not into each other eyes
we were smitten, head over heels, and shy
and sooner than we knew it, time came for goodbye
nervous and anew, I waited with you
until your ride arrived to take you home
you got on your toes and almost kissed my nose
but your lips on my cheek felt like home
that evening may have been the only one
but so are you dear, my only,
my one and done.

Sunday 12 July 2015

This Is Why I Love You


The world is your playground
you run, you fall, you bruise your knees and elbows
but then you get up and run again.
Wounds turn into scars, and scabs fall off with time
but you're still running, with me, my partner in crime.
This is why I love you
the sky is your canvas, your fingers a drawing tool
you paint the clouds with dreams and visions
you make every artist look like a fool
In your eyes there exists a passion
a glittery sparkle that puts the sun to shame
your hand can heal a hurting heart
and put a smile on the face of the lame
This is why I love you
You are a drop in the ocean, part of the whole
but you fill up my senses, medicine for my soul
Your heart thrives on emotion, on feeling all too much
you accept and understand and absorb and love
and then you give with no hesitation,
you are my dream lover, my turtle dove
You see nothing as simple and laid out
You look deeper until you find your way through
You talk about your heart and what you know to be true
You make loving easy, because you love you
and This is why I love you
You read me like a book, you learn me right
you are my reflection, my mirror, my pride
You see me for the mess I am inside
You make no effort to tidy me up, instead you sit by my side
and we watch the stars go by
This is why I love you
This is precisely why.

Saturday 11 July 2015

Infinite Moment


I had a life and death moment today
and in that split second,
in that tiny spec of a period in all of the world's time
I saw a hundred million things flash before my eyes.
I pictured my mother, and my family
and my extended family of friends.
I pictured the people who said "I'll see you tomorrow",
oblivious that today could have been an end
I spared a thought for my ol' best friend
And cried a little inside for the heart that won't mend.
I whispered a prayer for the people I owed apologies to,
and one for those I had meant to forgive.
I envisioned the 'I Love Yous' that remained unsaid,
the very same ones I often kept trapped in my head.
I pictured a future that would now, never be mine,
one where my soulmate would search for me, but never find.
I replayed the argument from last night,
wanting nothing more now than a smile and a hug tight.
I listened to the voice in my head
that reminded me of all the tears shed
I saw the ones I love and the once loved,
and the love that won
and among all the chaos of the faces I saw
I tried to hold on tight to everyone, good and flawed
and in that moment I prayed to be given just another chance
To complete the incomplete, to give all my love.
I heard that last beat before my heart would never beat again
I took that last breath before I'd never breathe again
and prayed no one else would have to leave the way I do
with words unsaid and feelings hidden too
this was it, I knew.
But I'm here. and I'm writing this
so that you know what you need to do
before that infinite moment meets you. 

Wednesday 8 July 2015

Nothing's The Same


And nothing would have ever moved,
that pen would have shed no ink,
that book would have stayed blank,
those lips would have no one to thank,
that mind would have no where to get lost in,
that stubborn heart would have no battle to win,
that morning would have been lifeless and dull
that coffee's effect void and null
that lamp would have stayed dark as the night
shady like her soul when the story lay untold
that page would have never been scrawled upon
and torn out and crumpled and fallen victim to her anger
but somehow in the confines of the bin
away from it's perfect white state, it brings no feeling of failure
just a clean slate
That hand wouldn't hurt as much as it did
that neck would never have had to know pain
but all of this would have come true
if she hadn't fallen in love, madly and insane
for in love, she is driven to write simple, plain
easy and well, and with nothing to gain
but the knowledge that her words don't go in vain.
In her new blank journal she begins,
for her lover, her prince charming
her fairtytale. 

Friday 26 June 2015

Tragic Ink


She scratched and she clawed,
scarring her skin,
needing to erase the memory of him from the outside
just like she did within.
Tears ran down and joined streams of the water
that flowed from her head and onto her skin.
The water flowed eventually into the drain
but the ink of his name, on her skin, remained
'permanent' they'd said, and 'permanent' she thought they'd be
But she should have guessed he was 'temporary'.
She's scraping away at her skin, her nails piercing painfully
her sobs bounce off the bathroom walls
but no one, no one hears her silent calls,
calls to set her free from the mark
the mark she had committed to
one that haunts, come the dusk and dark.
Now he's got a hold on her skin, if not her heart within
and it scares her how she can't undo, what she once did on a whim.
He's gone and along with him he took her sanity.
she sits before her mirror, but no longer for vanity.
She sits staring at the dark ink in her reflection hung on the wall
crying softly and to herself, "Mirror, Mirror, who's the ugliest of them all?"

Thursday 18 June 2015

Take it to Heart


She takes everything to heart
and nothing you do, can stop her
why would it?
she is ruled by her emotions
a slave to her heart
and she has found it's a safe place to be at times
and at all other times it's waiting to throw her into the strom
yet she trusts it enough to surrender.
Her heart is her captor and she is ruled by it's mood swings and tantrums
why does she put up with it?
cause it knows her better than anyone claims to.
It's a mirror to her thoughts and a guide to her dreams
It will never stop her from pursuing whats best for her
and it will never stop her from risking her heart for it either
even if it means damaging her heart in the bargain.
Self-sacrificing is what it is.
At the expense of getting hurt, it gains experience to deal with those who bring pain
She is all about 'feeling',
and feeling strongly about anything and everything on the face of the earth.
She may be fragile, and often naive
but she's got her head on her shoulders and her heart on her sleeve
So what if she takes it all to heart?
At least she feels, she knows what she feels
and she's learned to deal.
You, dear child, is who she worries about
for you know not what's on your mind
you know not how, to your heart, be kind
She looks to you with eyes of concern
because it is your hearts desires you take time to learn
She's no loser here for feeling so much at once
It is you who is at loss, who lacks feeling
who will spiral down into nothingness, your soul reeling
Take it to heart I say,
feel what you need to, even if it aches
It is better to feel than to ignore and push away
better to have your heart to hold on to, when your world goes astray
Stop keeping your emotions at bay
that you learn to accept them and take them to heart, I pray.
I fear for you if you're on the pathway to your heart's destruction
If you judge people like me for feeling something
for you'll never know passion, you'll never have purpose
Your heart will grow cold to the world and it's life
Stop yourself now, before you lose all ability to feel,
before you lose touch of Love and what's real.

Wednesday 17 June 2015

Daughter of the Rain


While everyone sees dark clouds and dull skies
she walks with her head held high
allowing not, herself, a moment of sadness
strolling on the moist earth with a sweet smile
sweet tears fall from the heavens that cry
for all humanity. That thunder, a disguised sigh.
but she has a sparkle in her eyes
they shine through the heavy curtain of water
while similar sparks roar scary and loud
between cloud to cloud
she hears nothing within her,
her racing mind silenced by the rain.
A calm and quite she feels on the inside
like the first showers took with it her pain
She doesn't curse it even though it brings more inconvenience to many
to her, its a blessing, her favorite time of year.
while passers by grumble about the slush and the mess
she's grateful for the smell of wet earth
It's not that she cares for sun-light any less
but the rain always gave her solace
It's coolness like an understanding caress
She spends many a day walking aimlessly in the rain
wanting only the earths company in every quiet lane
as tiny drops make their way down her skin,
she knows for a fact, this is her infinite moment, her win
there will be no other feeling that could bring her this joy
no new gadget, clothes or charm of a good looking boy
The rain, her friend and only confidante
3 months in her company will do wonders to her heart
and hopefully ready her for the storm to come
when the clouds clear out and the atmosphere gets numb
While everyone now sees dark and dull skies
she walks through puddles with awe in here eyes.

Thursday 11 June 2015

Unfreedom- Special Screening

While one is kidnapped and tortured, the other elopes for love. The former, a liberal Muslim scholar is silenced for what he believes in, the latter voices her love for someone of the same sex.

In both cases, un-freedom weighs down heavily on them, and their struggle against it is hard hitting, and tragically, a reality in the world today.


Watch Unfreedom at a special screening :

 Venue: 'The Hive - Mumbai' 
Date: 13th of  June' 2015 
Time: 4.30 pm to 7.30 pm

Tuesday 9 June 2015

Grounded and Uplifting: My Top 10 Life Principles

Grounded and Uplifting: My Top 10 Life Principles: So here are 10 principles I live by and I'm sharing this with you because it's the reason I am emotionally content. I've had a...

Thursday 4 June 2015

If We Fall, We Fall Together


Drowning
Engulfed by the waves
Slowly sinking deeper and deeper
And deeper I fall, pulled in
Into an abyss unending
Losing my breath, losing my will
Falling until
Until my feet touch the bed
Flying,
Lifted yet sinking hard and fast
No safeguard against this
This ocean in which I was cast
Losing my all, giving it up
Up to the ripples that surround
Wishing always to hear that sound
Of the thrum of a heart of the one who's holding my hand
Sinking with me
Faster than sinking sand
And all that adrenaline inside me
Urging me to escape
I ignore it
She is fate, my fate
So if we drown, we drown together, falling deeper, Sinking,
forever

Cravings


Call me greedy, call me selfish,
but I crave you
I crave you in the most innocent manner.
I long to walk aimlessly with you down the streets,
even if all we have to talk about is nothing,
I long to hold your hand, small and tender in my grasp
for as long as eternity lasts.
Every morning I wake with you on my mind,
every dusk until dawn I dream you as mine.
What I want is nothing more,
than for the love we share to never turn sore,
For 'change'  to never get in our way,
even through it happens all day, everyday.
I can handle the seasons going by,
and friends no longer staying nigh
but with you, love,
nightmares are synonymous with goodbye.
Longing has never known a love like mine,
my heart longs to be with yours, forever in time.
I crave to study you more and more
even if I exhaust you of everything there is to know.
I desire you, all of you,
all your traits and all your flaws,
imperfections and internal wars,
I desire to belong,
I long to be yours.

Sunday 31 May 2015

Boadicea


Here is your daily reminder that you are beautiful and nothing less
Your mind is powerful and your heart blessed
You are a home of strong emotions, a real chaotic mess
But you are also strong, a warrior at best.

Whatever maybe holding you down
Whatever's the reason for your slightly frown
Look not, at it, as your weakness
Remember, you're the queen of your heart, you wear the crown

You are more than your weaknesses
And your heart is your strength
You've been through ordeals that have tested you
You know you can battle great lengths

You may think you're insignificant, a drop in life's ocean,
that there are people who actually make a difference and you don't.
but what if I told you you're a lifesaver, keeping me afloat
when the sea overpowers me and the storm enrages
you're my savior, my hypothetical boat

You build barriers around your heart
hoping not to let anyone in too far to cause pain
What you don't see is, with all of that effort
the love you deserve comes knocking, and leaves in vain

You deserve love of the unconditional kind
the one that's sacrificial, and blind
Don't push it away for fear of heartbreak
It's a risk worth taking, O beautiful mind.

Never lose hope in your belief
Never let many a tear fall in grief
Your courage and determination outshine your flaws
Your every move can change the earths course,
every frozen heart, with your warmth, will thaw

You make a difference, you matter to many
Even though it may seems sometimes, there aren't any
Breathe, smile and start a new
Shine, my angel, the universe depends on you
And in a way larger than you'll ever know,
I do too.